


Saints Row Four and a Half

by OmniGamer



Series: Beyond Serious [1]
Category: Saints Row
Genre: Gen, Headcanon, On Hiatus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4702487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmniGamer/pseuds/OmniGamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events of Saints Row 4 have just ended, but little does the Boss realize that everything happened in his head. Trapped in the Simulation, the Boss has lost 4 years to Zinyak's grand scheme. Can the disbanded Saints join back together to save their long lost leader, and in the process save the Earth?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot... finally going back to this thing... chapters had a major revamp as looking back at them they were organized very strangely.

Zinyak frowned at the sight displayed before him. In prototype body armor, the Boss of the Saints Row stood upon the now decapitated body of the virtual Zin leader. Zinyak's simulated head was held high in the air by the Saint, the spine trailing below the skull.

Had Zinyak not just witnessed the fall of his empire under the will of the Saints, he would not have believed it. It was under his advisors influence that Zinyak should further study their puckish leader, and moreover, from seeing the rise of a simple street gang to worldwide celebrities, it was time to take action.

First was to dispose of Jonny Gat. He was too strong, too unpredictable, and would be a hindrance to Zinyak's greater plan. However, the results of removing Jonny were not what Zinyak had expected. Instead of crippling the Saints, it only served to make them stronger, more resolved. Global celebrities became global heroes; the Saints could prove unstoppable. This surprising result forced Zinyak's hand. He would remove the greatest threat of them all, the Boss of the Third Street Saints.

Like Jonny, making the Boss disappear was easy − all it took was a moment away from his lieutenants, his public,  _alone really_. Zinyak would deprive them of their leader, their hero. However, unlike Jonny who was still reliving his own internal hell, the Boss was not so easily contained within the simulator.

At first, the simulations were as they always had been a prison of their occupants' worst fears. For the Boss it had been a rendition of the 1950’s American Dream. White picket fences, everyone being neighborly to everyone… a living hell to the Boss's chaotic nature. But, a prison of pleasantry and order could never hold the Boss forever.

In the many attempts to preserve itself, the simulation would eject the Boss – should he come close to destroying the delicate balance that held the simulator processes. The Zin had to remake the simulator repeatedly, each iteration more bizarre than the last. Each required erasing the previous mistakes from the Boss' mind and trying again. It had been the largest undertaking the Zin ever attempted. Many had doubts of their great leader; thinking that it would have been easier to just kill the Saint. Many had also suddenly been ejected into space for such doubts.

They just did not understand the greater scheme of things. With their leader dead, the Saints would rise up into an unrelenting force, and the supposed death of Jonny Gat and the vengeance brought upon Phillipe Loren was proof enough. But with only the disappearance of their precious Boss, there would still be some hope to try to save him. It was this hope that would make them vulnerable. This was Zinyak's gamble and this reasoning made the Boss of the Saints Row an invaluable pawn in the times ahead.

Roughly, four Earth years ago, Zinjai had finally composed something to take on the challenge of keeping the Boss… _preoccupied_. It started simply. Zinjai's creation tapped into the Boss' subconscious. It fed on the Boss' doubts of Cyrus, and played with his ego eventually making him President of the United States. It was thought that the leader would have been happy with merely being President of the country he so treasured. And it seemed to have succeeded for three years, but the Boss still possessed a hunger. The simulation sensed it. It created an additional AI program to mimic Zinyak himself.  _And it proved to be an accurate imitation, though a bit flippant for Zinyak's taste_. The AI designed a plot to further push the Boss deeper within its programming. _To create a simulation within the virtual simulation as it were_.

But staring at the display before him, Zinyak knew that like the many before it, this plot had failed. The Boss had broken the AI and should the simulation try to force him deeper again might make this whole endeavor a failure. For now, Zinyak would let the Boss do as he wished with what remained of the simulation. Regardless, it had bought Zinyak enough time to set his larger plans into motion. There was something about "Enter the Dominatrix" and "How the Saints Saved Christmas" that still remained in the events bank of the simulation,  _how quaint_.

Still there was a silver lining. An unexpected advantage that the simulation provided. _Its capacity for strategic planning_. It allowed him a glimpse into the thinking processes of those that remained on Earth, prying into the Boss' knowledge of his followers in turn aiding Zinyak's generals. For some reason, the Boss thought highly of Kinzie and Matt for their technical skills. When the invasion finally started those two would need to be monitored closely. The others appeared as no consequence, but they too would be watched. He would interfere only when necessary.

His virtual empire bowing to their new steel clad leader brought Zinyak back from his reminiscing. The current simulation so far had proved the most promising. The Boss' subconscious had yet to doubt his current 'reality'.  _Was it the promise of unlimited power that enticed him?_  The Saint continued intrigued Zinyak. The human was like a mirror image to his own person, even down to sharing an interest in the works of Jane Austen. Had the Saint been born a Zin, Zinyak would have been sure to personally dispose of him.

He tapped the arm of his throne with a black claw. "Zinjai?" He called.

In an annoying almost sniveling manner, Zinjai came up to him from the shadows. "Yes, your Excellency?" Zinjai, once a proud scientist, reduced to meek lump - all due to spending just a fraction of time in his own creation.

"How far are we with the preparations?" He had waited, and was growing ever more impatient with how long the preparations for the invasion were taking.

"Just about finished, your Excellency. We are waiting our forces from the Gamma quadrant. It should be only of matter of hours." Zinjai rung his hands, flinching at every motion that Zinyak made.

"Good, good. You are dismissed." With a wave, Zinjai disappeared back to whatever hole he had crawled out of. Zinyak leaned backwards. His head propped up on one muscled arm, while the other continued to rest along the arm of his throne. There was a smile on his thin lips. 

 _So it begins_.


	2. Chapter 2

Kinzie couldn't believe what she saw on NASA's radar - which she had hacked recreationally. It was faint, but by rerouting and boosting the signal it was clear enough.

Hundreds of tiny blips littered the screen, each moving with more precision than mere space debris. For lack of a better word they were space ships, and by judging from their formations, they weren't here for fun.

She pushed away from the multitude of her collected computer screens of varying sizes, and quickly grabbed her headset, jacking it into the monster of a computer she possessed. It was not much to go on, but if her suspicions were correct she needed to tell the rest of the Saints. With luck, they would still be willing to listen.

Four years had been a long time. The loss of the Boss was not easy for any of them. Shaundi could barely keep it together when Gat died let alone the only person who still had faith in her shorty after that. She headed back to Stillwater, and from what Kinzie could get from scanning her phone and social networking, Shaundi just went to pieces. Pierce left the gang, and went solo for himself as a celebrity, though the current tabloid says that he has "lost his passion". Oleg returned to Russia, though he goes under a different name now. Kinzie could not say much for Zimos and Angel. She suspected they missed the Boss, as he was the reason they regained what they had lost, but since the S.T.A.G incident they had allowed themselves to grow distant with the Saints. Viola was never close to the Saints to begin with so it had been no surprise when she finally left.

With a few more keystrokes, she had patched herself into the Russian network. "Oleg? Are you there?"

His rough accent bled through the earpiece. "Yes, Kinzie. I can hear you, though might I be asking why you call?"

She pushed back a strand of her orange hair that had wormed its way out of her haphazardly made ponytail. "Oleg, I'm sending you these readings. Can you tell me what they are?" She tapped a key, sending the images from her monitors to him.

There was a pause on the other end, followed by a slight creak. She suspected that he had leaned forward in his chair. "They look like troop formations, and a large one at that. What are these?" He finally asked.

"Oh, just a little present from the idiots at NASA who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag." She answered somewhat smugly.

"Are you suggesting…"

She cut him off. "Yes, Oleg. I am suggesting that we are about to be invaded by, I can't believe I'm about to say this… aliens."

"And why might you be warning me? I can hardly do anything about it."

"Because you might be the only person who will believe me right now…"

Again, there was silence. "I'm sorry Kinzie, I–" Oleg was interrupted by a loud static screech that suddenly inflicted Kinzie's headphones. She ripped them from her head, the static still continuing as she held the headset in her hands.

Her screen flickered and an all too familiar blue headset-wearing skull flashed up on the monitor. The screeching had faded to a dull buzz and she deemed it safe enough to put them back on. "Hold that thought Oleg, I just need to deal with this nuisance." Her fingers flew across the keys, trying every combination of encryption and firewalls she could think of to keep out the leader of the now disbanded Deckers. "God dammit!"

It was only a matter of seconds before he broke into her computer. "I'd hate to interrupt–" Her insides cringed at the sound of Matt Miller's voice. It almost made her want to vomit.

"What is it Miller?" Snapped Kinzie, irritated that once again, he had out-programmed her. Her fingers still tapping out a solid rhythm on her keyboard.

"As I was saying, I'd hate to interrupt your little chat, but I think you might want to see this broadcast, seeing as you probably don't watch the telly anymore…" Again, irritation flashed, but Miller was right. Kinzie didn't watch TV, nor was she an avid watcher before - well before the you-know-what happened.

The Decker icons disappeared and was replaced by the image of a large… creature… alien. Almost immediately, Kinzie's fingers stopped in their tracks.

Its skin was an extremely pale pink, with pitch black eyes and equally black horns protruding from its forehead. "Greetings people of Earth–" It boomed into Kinzie's ears. "Don't be alarmed. What I, Zinyak, leader of the Zin Empire, ask of you is simple. Submit to me and I shall spare your pathetic lives. Fight me and I will destroy this pitiful planet and everyone on it. And should you get any ideas…" Zinyak trailed off, the most mischievous of grins appearing on his face. The alien may have been smiling, but there was no warmth.

Kinzie will never forget what happened next. Zinyak's face vanished and the all too recognizable face of the Boss appeared. His features now a pale comparison to what they once were, sunken almost hollow. His hair and beard had grown. The iridescent red locks that he kept cut around his chin, now spilled down past his shoulders, his natural brown roots replacing the majority of it. The semi-permanent 5-o'clock shadow was now a full-length beard worthy of any lumberjack. But it was the tattoo that made sure there was not any doubts of who he was. The purple fleur-de-lie on his neck, its location reserved solely for the Boss of the Saints Row.

She heard Oleg whisper in her ear, voicing the same disbelief that she had. "Kinzie… is that?"

Zinyak's face once again filled the screen, and it was if the Boss had been ripped away again. "This is my warning to you… _Saints_." Zinyak seemed to spit the words. The strange disgusted he had for the Saints apparently evident.

The image faded from the monitor returning Kinzie to her screens of satellite and radar images. "Matt… Where. Did. You. Get. This?" Kinzie's voice was a mixture of rage and disbelief.

"Well, if you cared to listen to me in the first–"

"Where, Miller!" Her patience with the young hacker was growing thin.

"Geez, you don't have to yell. I've traced the signal down to a broadcasting tower near the Steelport television station. But I doubt that it'd matter. If this is real, then it's broadcasting from space, of all things." His own disbelief evident in his voice.

It seemed that the footage had even caught Oleg's attention. "There must be a reason why Zinyak is broadcasting through a local tower instead of hijacking the global satellite network."

"A trap obviously." Piped-in Matt.

Kinzie rolled her eyes. "Of course I knew that, but why? Who is he hoping to draw there? The Saints are pretty much disbanded.” There was no point in hiding that fact from Miller. Not only had he gained access to all the files stored in her computer, but it wasn't really something hidden. It was the whisper on the wind. No one said it, but it was something that everyone suspected. The Saints were no more.

"Perhaps, this Zinyak is not aware of that?" Oleg added. “But why target a street gang of all things? Why not world governments or S.T.A.G., those would have been more likely targets."

"We might have an advantage if that’s their only worry…" Her fingers returned to the keyboard. Typing faster than she ever had before, she followed the trail of breadcrumbs that Matt had left. Kinzie paused, at every turn something blocked the path. She knew what she had to do next, though she hated to admit it. The words caught in her throat. "Matt… we… need your help."

"What was that? I don't think I quite heard you. Was it along the lines of: I, Kinzie Kensington need help from the great, handsome, and incredibly brilliant hacker, Matthew Miller."

Kinzie had more than a few choice words for Miller, but she held them back. He was the only one she knew who was at least as good as her, and she did need his help. "You heard me."

"No, I don't think I did."

There seemed to be no way around it. Matt was going to be a pain until the end. "Do I really have to?" Kinzie sunk back in her chair, her face to the ceiling, and her eyeballs rolling back.

"Yes." Miller insisted.

She leaned forward the swivel chair emitting a protesting squeak. Kinzie sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, her eyes shut. "I, Kinzie Kensington need help from… the… great…. handsome… and incredibly… brilliant hacker… … … Matt Miller." She had been clenching her fist and released her grip when it got too painful. Small crescent moons left in the flesh of her palms.

"Now that wasn't so hard." He gloated.

"Shut it. I need you to run a tracer back to its origin point to those ships that are orbiting Earth right now."

"I could but the signal is distorted. Any further tracing loops back on itself…"

There was a moment of silence as both hackers realized the problem, and surprisingly it was Oleg who spoke first. "Would it not be better to try to bypass it completely and install a transmitter and descrambler at the broadcast's point of origin? That should bypass the looping."

Simultaneously, Kinzie and Matt hesitated.

Kinzie typed a few lines of code and tested a simulation. The results seemed positive. "That could work. Good thinking Oleg."

"You do realize that means actually going to the broadcast tower, right? Like, where they set up the most obvious of traps." Matt interjected.

"I do realize that, but if you haven't noticed we don't have a lot of people right now we could trust with this. Especially in Steelport. Right now." Kinzie pulled away from the desk. With the wireless headset still on, she moved quickly around the room, gathering what she would need. "Oleg?"

"I'll see what I can do. It may be... difficult to get away." He may have implied no, but Kinzie could tell by the sound of his voice that he would be there regardless of what happened.

"I'd appreciate the effort." She said.

****

Kinzie pulled the purple hoodie tighter down over her head.  _God it was bright out here_. With the bundle of technical equipment under her arms, she booked it down the dock. Panicked people ran every which direction, sometimes even bumping into both Kinzie and her precious cargo. "Hey watch it!" She shouted, but the offender was already long out of earshot.

Cars honked at the people wandering into the roads, staring at the large black spaceships that flew overhead, occasionally blotting out the noon sun. Luckily, she wouldn't have to be outside for long.

Despite the state of chaos spreading through the city, Smiling Jack's remained unfazed. Its occupants more occupied with their plates of flapjacks and eggs than with the invasion-in-progress outside. The cook did not even bother looking up when the door's bell tinkled on Kinzie's arrival.

Now out of the sunlight Kinzie pulled off her hood. She slunk back to her usual table and sat down. Oleg asked for her to give him twenty-four hours before doing anything. She looked at her watch. It was fast approaching twenty-three.

As the waitress brought her a cup of coffee, Kinzie glanced at her watch again. Time ticked by slowly as she finished her coffee, but still no one arrived.

Disappointed that Oleg could not make it, she put her money down on the table and stood. Gathering up her trusted laptop and gadgetry, she headed for the door. As she remained focused in her thoughts, she crashed into the gargantuan man.

"Oof." Her first reaction was one of anger, but it quickly subsided upon recognizing his stony face. "Oleg glad you could make it."

"Sorry for the wait, but I had to pick up a few things first." There was a smile that Kinzie hadn't seen in a while, as Oleg gestured to the two individuals who had come in after him.

"Who you callin' a thing…" The familiar whine of Pierce's voice met Kinzie's ears. From out of Oleg's massive shadow came not only Pierce, but Shaundi as well. "You didn't think you were going in alone on this, did you?" A hand rested on one hip. He was clad in his typical fashion of a tailored suit and pant with a purple dress-shirt.

"And the others?" Kinzie asked, somewhat hoping that there were other Saints coming as well. If not now, maybe later.

"Busy or missing." Oleg looked disappointed, but Kinzie was glad that he had at least tried. That was more than she could ask for.

The group returned to the back of the restaurant. Pierce waved down the waitress. "What? I'm hungry!" He said in response to the stares from his colleagues. The waitress jotted down his order, then looked expectantly to the rest of the ex-Saints. She only gave a moment's pause when she saw Oleg, but resumed her standard look of contempt. Resigned, Shaundi asked for a water, Oleg passed, and Kinzie ordered another coffee. Satisfied, the waitress flipped closed her little notepad and walked on to the next table.

"So what's the plan?" Shaundi said, a sudden expectant look in her tired mascara-lined eyes.

The group turned to Kinzie, each of them hoping. "Umm. How much did Oleg fill you guys in with?"

"Besides the video that went viral? Not much." Mumbled Pierce, in-between mouthfuls of flapjack.

"Well, after close examination of the footage and consideration into how much time has elapsed between when the boss went missing and now, it's fair to say that the technology used isn't cryostasis."

"Cryo-what?"

"Cryostasis. The process of cooling a live biological object to low sub-zero temperatures for extended preservation." Informed Oleg.

"Yes. Because of the change in hair length if the Boss were in a state of cryostasis that wouldn't happen. Or at least shouldn't happen."

"So he's in a coma then." Shaundi, added. She pushed back a length of her brown hair.

Kinzie quietly applauded Shaundi's guesswork. "Not quite… If you watch the video closely you can see his eyes moving quickly underneath his eyelids. Coma patients don't experience the REM sleep state."

"So what are you trying to say?"

"You remember when we were shutting down the Deckers, and had the Boss hooked up to the Neurological Electromagnetic Onieroscope chair?"

At this point Pierce had pretty much given up trying to understand what was going on, but he tried his best to contribute anyway. "I'm just going to pretend I understood that, and say yes."

Kinzie sighed. "Anyway, I suspect his consciousness is being trapped within the Zin's systems. If I can get my computer hooked up at the broadcast tower, I can get Miller to trace the signal back to its point of origin. Hopefully onto the system where they're keeping the Boss."

"Wait, a moment. You actually are working with Miller. That punk kid Matt Miller. Willingly?" Said Shaundi disbelievingly.

"Yes. As much as it pains me to say this, right now we need all the help we can get."

"Okay. So once you computer people get all that stuff worked out," Pierce waved the end of his fork at Kinzie, then to Oleg. "What happens then?"

"That's going to be the hard part. Once the link has been established we're going to have to go in and force his consciousness back into his body. But to do that, someone needs to be willing to go into the system and break him out first."

"I'll do it." Declared Shaundi, her fist pounded the table and startled everyone.

"No, I'll need you as backup in case it gets hairy at the broadcast tower."

"I thought we were doing that first?" Kinzie noted that Shaundi was growing more agitated the longer they sat.

"We will only have a small window of opportunity to trace the signal and send someone in undetected, so we will have to do it as simultaneously as possible. Oleg needs to be at my Inner Sanctuary to help get the chair set up and monitor things from there. So Pierce, you will have to be the one that is going to go in after the Boss."

Pierce let the fork drop from his hand. It clattered against the now empty plate. "Hey man, why do I got to do all the dangerous stuff around here?"

"Well, unless you want to be facing off against an eleven-foot tall alien space lord I suggest the chair is your safer bet."

"If you go putting it that way."

"So, I'm guessing the broadcasting tower is a trap?" Shaundi asked.

"Most likely. There isn't any other reason that I could come up with that would explain why Zinyak is trying to make it look like the footage was sent locally, unless he was trying to lure us in." Kinzie affirmed.

"You want me manning a sniper-scope from a nearby building?" Shaundi was itching to finally do something.

"Yes, and should things turn hairy I want you to use this." Kinzie handed the package to Shaundi.

"What is it?"

"Something that should turn the tides in our favor. But don't open it here. I want it to be a surprise."

Shaundi did not always understand Kinzie, but knew that whatever she thought up, it would be interesting.

"So is everyone clear on the plan?"

"I think so." Pierce said. Everyone else nodded their heads in agreement.

"Okay. Let's get this thing started."

****

The Saints split up once outside of Smiling Jack's. With the Zin's ships monitoring from the skies it would be best for now for them to go their own ways. Both Oleg and Pierce, albeit walking on opposite sides of the street, headed towards Kinzie's crib in the old warehouse.

Kinzie hung back and waited as Shaundi ducked into Friendly Fire to get herself re-equipped, though it was difficult to do so amid the panicking mob that swarmed around its premises.

Without so much as a nod, both Kinzie and Shaundi started down the streets towards the broadcast tower. Shaundi spied a good vantage point from one of the buildings and made off in that direction, leaving Kinzie alone to enter the television station and make her way to the tower atop it.

Fortunately, the building was nearly empty, and the fat security guard at the desk barely looked away from his monitor that was showing news report of a Steelport city in distress. She snuck through the "Employees Only" stairwell and started climbing. She met no one else on her way to the roof.

With a few keystrokes the electronic locked beeped open and Kinzie gained access to the roof. She pushed open the door slightly to check first for anything that might hamper the next step of her plan. So far nothing. She pushed open the door the rest of the way and went outside. "Shaundi how is it looking?" Kinzie asked into her Bluetooth headset.

"I have a clear shot, so far so good."

"Oleg? Pierce? How are things on your end?"

Oleg was the one who answered. "Things are good Kinzie. Miller is waiting on your signal."

From the background Kinzie heard Pierce complain. "Are you sure I'm going to be okay? Like I don't want my brain frying or anything."

"If it was safe enough for the Boss, it should be safe enough for you."

"That isn't saying much."

Knowing the Boss' reputation for getting into tough scrapes, Kinzie could not help silently agreeing with Pierce. "Stop whining.  _WE_  all got a job to do if we are going to even have a remote chance of rescuing the Boss."

She flipped open her laptop and hooked it up to the portable router she had jury-rigged together. With another cable, she spliced into the towers network. Within moments, she had all her connections established. In took a few more minutes before Kinzie could hack her way into the signal.

"How much longer Kinzie?" Came Shaundi's voice over the earpiece.

"A few more minutes. The uplink is establishing now. I just need–"

"You might want to speed things up. It looks like the Zin are starting to figure things out."

"Going as fast as I can!" Kinzie looked up and realized that Shaundi was right. The busy bee-like pattern overhead had slowed and several ships had started circling the building. There was a glow behind her, and Kinzie heard Shaundi mutter "What the Fuck?"

Some sort of particle transporter had beamed the Zin leader onto the roof. "So you are Kinzie. It seems that your Boss' predictions were on the mark. I was right to look out for you and your little friends." Zinyak said the words with a certain haughty air that just irked Kinzie.

"Incoming." Announced Shaundi. The sniper rifle barked into the air sending its lethal projectile launching towards the alien.

"Ah, and that must be the lovely Shaundi." He waved his arm in the air and a force field shimmered, stopping the bullet in its tracks. "And here I thought it would be so much harder. Come now try and give me a challenge." Kinzie glanced back at her computer.  _95% completion. Almost there_. "Ah, was this the plan?" Zinyak caught Kinzie's glance and started towards the computer. Her palms went cold. She could not lose a thing. Not when it was so close.

"Now Shaundi!" Kinzie ducked away from Zinyak, and clamped her hands over her ears, squeezing her eyes as tight as possible.

Shaundi pulled the trigger. "And what is this?" The shield around Zinyak shimmered to life again. Kinzie's surprise smacked into the barrier with a loud thwack. Its contents exploding in a blast of light and sound.

 _100% and all lights green_. Kinzie dashed towards the laptop. Zinyak still stunned from the experience howling in a blind rage.

"Time to go. Matt I hope you're in."

Miller responded quickly. "Tracking now."

 _Good_. Kinzie booked it to the stairwell. "I don't think so." Zinyak had recovered faster than Kinzie had predicted. From her vantage point, Shaundi fired several more rounds, but they proved as useless as the first. "That was an interesting trick, but I think it is time to say good bye." He sneered. He tapped on the device on his arm and both Zinyak and Kinzie were enveloped in a blinding red light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Boss yet, but he's showing up soon. Pinky promise.


	3. Chapter 3

"Kinzie!" Shouted Shaundi, as she watched helplessly. When the light faded Kinzie was gone. "Fuck! Oleg they got Kinzie." She packed up her gear quickly and was pounding her way down the cement stairs as fast as she could.

"Do we abandon the plan?"

"No we keep going. How far is Miller on that tracing?"

"Almost done." Chimed Matt.

"Good, I'll see you in a few."

"Hey if you're coming back here does that mean I don't have to be the one who is sent into cyberspace?" Whined Pierce.

"We'll see. If Miller finishes the tracing before I make it back, then no."

"Well girl, hurry it up then!"

Shaundi could only roll her eyes. Sometimes Pierce could be such a pain. But still it might be better if she went in. After all she was more reliable, and with Kinzie gone the Boss was going to need all the help he could get.

She plowed her path through the swaths of swarming people and quickly made her way back to Kinzie's Sanctuary each step of her sneakered feet pushing her forward. The metal garage door opened easily enough and Shaundi slipped inside.

"Alright. Tag out." Pierce cheered. He promptly jumped out of the NEMO chair and Shaundi moved to replace him. Oleg lowered the metal arm.

"Matt are you done yet?"

"Well, if I wasn't interrupted every–"

"Kinzie said we had a narrow window to get in undetected please tell me it is still open."

"It is… and… alright. I'm in. Just tell me when you want to go."

"NOW Matt!"

"Sheesh. Alright... And done."

Shaundi closed her eyes.  _Just wait for me_.

****

When she opened her eyes again, Shaundi was in the cargo bay of a ship. "Can you hear me?" Oleg's voice boomed in her head.

"That's a big yes, and oww. Watch the volume!"

"I apologize. Hopefully this is better."

"Much." Shaundi looked around. Save for the weapons strewn about, the majority of the bay's contents were unfamiliar to her. "Where am I?"

"Pulling up schematics." There was a pause. "It's a spacecraft of sorts. Not human-made. Likely Zin."

"Wait, I'm on a Zin ship? Am I going to have to be on the lookout for hostiles?"

"Perhaps…"

Footsteps echoed off the metal hull. "Hold that thought Oleg. I hear something." She grabbed the closest thing she could find.  _A wrench? Better that nothing I suppose_. Shaundi waited behind a crate, and saw…  _Matt Miller?_  "What the hell is Matt doing here?" Whispered Shaundi, more to herself than anyone in particular.

"Most likely the simulation generates its inhabitants through the Boss' memory…"

"I figured, but Miller? Really?" She weighed the wrench in her hand again. It should be heavy enough.

"It would be best to dispatch these creations quickly. We don't know if they are capable of warning the system."

"Got it. Anything else?" Matt was almost in swinging range.

"Try not to kill them. It may prove difficult to explain yourself to the Boss."

"Fair enough."

"Good luck, I will try to keep you updated on how much time we have until you are discovered, but you may have more than we think as time seems to flow differently in this virtual reality."

"I'll keep that in mind." Shaundi swung. It knocked hard into the side of his head, and Miller slumped to the floor with a startled gasp. "One down." Hefting the wrench onto her shoulder she made her way to the right, slowly inching her way towards where, what she assumed, was a door.

The door split along it center and made a whooshing sound similar to a late 60s sci-fi show. She stepped through it quietly. Pierce was the second one she saw.  _This is almost too easy._  He went down almost as easily as Miller had, but first uttered a confused "Shaundi?" Her eyes darted around the circular room. _A shark in a pimp hat?_

"Hey, Pierce…" Shaundi's heart nearly leapt out of her chest. That voice. That all familiar voice.  _It couldn't be. It just couldn't._  He was dead. "Uh, Shaundi?" Gat asked. There was a knife in his hand. He held it nonchalantly, but she remained wary. She doubted that Gat would hesitate to use it his mood shifted. _Fake or not_. He looked to the limp body on the floor, and then to the wrench in Shaundi's hand. "I know Pierce can be annoying at times, but that hardly calls for knocking him out." She noted that Gat had tightened his grip on the blade's handle. "Shaundi, are you alright? You look… different." He was approaching her slowly, like a tiger stalking his prey. Gat's eyes flickered from the wrench to her face. Scanning for any sign that she was going to fight him. She wouldn't.  _Couldn't. Not Gat. Anyone but Gat._

"Johnny…"

"I know… I know…" He was so close now, the knife held ready to burrow into her chest. Shaundi closed her eyes. Waiting for her brain to explode leaving her real body brain-dead. But it didn't happen.

Shaundi peeked with one eye, then the other. A floating metal orb had blocked Gat. The knife ricocheting harmlessly off of the hard surface. "CID… What are you doing?" Gat questioned, obviously frustrated with the hovering device.

"I am intercepting your attack upon the woman known as Shaundi. I believe that I should be asking you the same question." There was the sound of static and a quick discharge of lightning. The electricity hissed through the air, striking Gat square in the chest. Gat staggered from the impact, but had remained standing. CID sent out another bolt of lightning. This time Gat's body convulsed and collapsed. "Are you alright? Real Shaundi." Its ball pivoted and turned to face her. What Shaundi could only assume to be, a giant glowing blue eye sat in its center.

"Who are you? And what do you mean by  _Real_  Shaundi?"

The metal ball bobbed through the air. "I suppose this is our first actual meeting. The one you know as Boss has taken to calling me CID; named so for the metal body I am currently inhabiting. You may do so as well. I have long been trapped within the matrix of the Zin systems, and it was only by chance that I have stumbled upon this simulation. It has seemed the most promising for my future escape as it has such close connections to the Zin’s inner systems. I call you Real Shaundi, as I assume that you are not a byproduct of the simulation as many of the others are, but the original Shaundi."

Shaundi raised an eyebrow, and subconsciously tapped her temple. "Oleg? Is any of what this… CID say's true?"

There was a long pause, and initially Shaundi was not sure if Oleg had heard her. "I cannot tell for sure. It is likely that the simulations are working on a connected framework, so it may very well be possible. From what I am seeing there are indeed three distinct brain waves. Yours, what I assume to be the Boss' and this CID," stated Oleg.

Shaundi turned to face CID again. "Alright, I'm going to trust you for now, but if you even think of fucking with me, I will personally turn you into an heap of scrap metal."

"Very well. As it would be most difficult to try and regain my physical form if I were brain-dead, it would be in my best interest to not 'fuck with you'."

"Glad we have an understanding." She moved past the floating ball and grabbed the metal stair railing. Her eyes rapidly scanning the ship's interior for any sign of movement.

"Might I ask, how you intend to get the other one out of the simulation?"

"Right now we're just winging it. If I think of something, I'll let you know."

"Has not the real Kinzie traced your Boss' bio-signature to his original body? Doing so you make the extraction process much easier."

"Kinzie didn't really have a lot of time before the Zin got her. The most we could do was send me up here to figure things out."

"Shame. The fake Kinzie had seemed like such a smart individual."

"Hey, we haven't given up on her yet. After the Boss is out, she's our next priority."

"If you would be expending the effort of getting Kinzie out, would it not also be best if you were to try and get Johnny Gat out as well."

Everything in Shaundi lurched to a stop. "Wait. You're telling me that Gat's somewhere in all this too?"

"That is correct. Your Boss had even managed to bridge the two simulations, albeit momentarily. As I have previously mentioned, this simulation is tied strongly to the Zin's inner systems. Though I fail to understand to what purpose. To reduce computing stress I suppose." 


	4. Chapter 4

He swung his legs over the edge of the Three Count Casino's roof. The city of Steelport lay before him, _well the simulated city anyway_. The real one having been destroyed with the rest of the Earth by the Zin.

The Boss crouched and felt the energy building inside of him, a purple aura forming around his body. Launching himself, he released all the energy into a single superhuman jump. It was exhilarating. He felt like he could do anything.

"Boss. Boss? You there?" Shaundi's voice echoed between his ears.

"I'm here Shaundi. What's up?" He spread his arms and slowed his descent to a casual glide. He shifted his position, placing his foot on the side of a nearby building. The purple energy gathered at his feet and propelled him up its surface. When he heard no further response he probed further. "Uh, Shaundi. You still there?" He rocketed past the building's roof.

"Yeah Boss… yeah I'm still here. It's just been awhile since I heard your voice."

Now partly confused by Shaundi's comment, he landed softly on the roof. "Is everything okay?"

"Actually no. I need to talk to you. Can I meet you on the… ship?"

"I'll be right there…"

"Good, because we don't have much time left."

 _Time? Time for what?_  Considering all the weird things that he had to deal with in the past little while, there wasn’t much else that could phase him. He opened his GPS and set it pointing towards the nearest gateway.

Jumpinging off of the building, the Boss landed on the street below with a devastating stomp. Several pedestrians steered clear of him, while others just straight out ran away. It took milliseconds for him to reach his top speed. A vortex swirled in his wake ripping up street lamps and sending parked cars launching down the streets. Moments later, he was at the glowing blue gateway. "Let's see what Shaundi wants."

****

His steel blue eyes flicked open and the arms to the simulation device unfolded letting him jump down the metal floor of the Zin's scout ship hull. His casual smile faltered when he saw Shaundi lying unconscious in a chair and another, less familiar looking Shaundi, standing at the computer terminal. CID was floating lazily beside her. "What's going on?" He was hesitant and backed up slightly, bumping into the edge of the simulator pod. While this was not the first time that he had seen two Shaundi's in the same space, Fun Shaundi and Future Shaundi were proof enough,  _it was still_ _weird as fuck_.

"You're still trapped in the simulation by the Zin. Oleg, Matt, and Kinzie managed to send me here to tell you. To convince you that the Zin still have you. They are invading Earth as we speak."

"Whoa, whoa, what? Did you say Oleg? The Earth's gone Shaundi. It has been for half a year."

"No, it's not. Not yet anyway. You've been gone. For four fucking long years! We thought you were dead. It wasn't until Zinyak came knocking on our door two days ago, did we even know you were still alive." She sighed, and shook her head. "I don't have much time left before the Zin figure out I'm here, but I need you to trust me on this."

The last time the Boss tried to dismiss a Shaundi, he had almost been beaten up by the cyber-arm wielding woman from the future. He could at least humor this one. "So what, I’m stuck inside some inception bull-shit?”

The look Shaundi gave him was enough of an answer.

He was conflicted.  _All the shit I've been through and I'm still dancing to Zinyak's tune?_   By this point, his smile had completely fallen from his face. “I figure Kinzie's going to work out how to break into the simulator and somehow get me into my real body?"

"Actually, you are going to have to depend on CID for that. Kinzie got grabbed earlier and Matt is busy trying to create something that is going to replace you so the Zin don't get suspicious when you finally bust out."

The Boss rubbed his neck. "Great so…"

"Sorry, time's up, wish I could give you more." With a less than dramatic fizzle, Shaundi was gone. Blinked out like turning off an old TV set. He was left alone with CID and a crew full of supposedly fake and unconscious Saints.

"Sooo." He uncomfortably rubbed his hands together. "CID. You usually don't help out for free. What's the deal?"

"The real Shaundi has greatly assured me that upon the retrieval of your body, that the Saints would put their efforts into finding mine. Upon the eventual freeing of Kinzie and Gat, the downfall and total destruction of Zinyak should be assured. It seems like the most logical course of action to get revenge against the Zin and return me to a more adequate form."

"What, you don't like the little robot body we gave you?"

"No. I don't. I miss having arms. And I am much bigger in reality."

"Wait, if you have your real body still, why bother telling us that it was destroyed?"

"I could not completely trust you then to not turn me over the Zin. If they found out that I could travel easily through their systems, they would most likely have me killed. Since I remain anonymous, their system cannot track down which pod I am in."

"Yeah okay. The Zin would just pull the plug on you. I guess I can understand."

"Yes, well. I guess it is time for us to try to return you to your inadequate physical body."

"Inadequate. I have you know–" The Boss didn't have time to finish before CID was interrupting him again.

"Oleg has finished sending me the data I requested. It seems that Miller has been most helpful despite his previous dealing with you. Hold still."

"Hold still? Hold still for what?"

"This." There was a static charge in the air, bending the space around the Boss and CID.

"Uh, CID. What are you doing?"

"Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven…"

"What are you counting down for?"

"I am counting down the seconds until Matt finishes his upload of the fake you program. When it's complete I am going to eject you from this simulation. The rest falls on you. Five… Four… It may be best for you to hold your breath. Three… Two… One…"

“CID, hol-"

****

The sight of CID faded away and a fluorescent orange covered his vision. He was falling, and the surrounding orange world was falling with him.

He hit the floor hard. Its metal surface less than sympathetic to him.

The fluid that had only moments before encased him, now splashed messily around the Boss. His lungs heaved, expelling more of the orange goo from his mouth. A coughing fit took hold of the Boss. _He couldn't breathe_. For the last four years the strange substance had provided the much needed nutrients and oxygen his body needed to sustain itself. For four years his body had forgotten the sweetness of air. He tried again. His lungs only half inflated, but it was enough. At least for now. The air was dry. It burned his throat.

"Fuck… me…" His voice was no more than a whisper. He lay panting on the cold floor for a few moments before trying to get his arms to work. He was thinner than he remembered,  _and a hella lot weaker_. All of his muscles screamed in pain as he tried standing.

After two failed attempts, he was finally on his own legs. _This was far from the walk in the park the simulation's escape had been_. His head hurt worse than that one hangover he had, and his hands wouldn't stop shaking. The beard was new, as was the long hair. The orange goo clung to both hair and his very naked body.  _They didn't even leave my lip piercing_ , he thought bitterly.

Strangely enough, everything seemed as he remembered it the first time. He took one step, then another. The sudden motion made him nauseous and he threw up what remained of the orange fluid in his stomach. "Déjà vu." His vision spun and he almost collapsed, but he miraculously managed to maintain his balance.

He stumbled forward a few more steps and managed to make it to the door controls. It was locked. "Great." The Boss pounded on the controls, but it didn't do anything. "Where's a tech geek when you need one.”

"I see you are having trouble opening the door. Can I help you with that?"

The voice startled him. "Fuck CID. I almost had a heart attack."

"That would be most inopportune. Are you alright?"

"Yeah CID I'm great. Short of feeling like I was flushed down a toilet and my whole body hates me right now. I'm just peachy."

"That is good to hear. We have work to do."

The Boss groaned. "'Kay. What do I have to do?" He leaned heavily on the wall for support.

"Not leaning on the wall would be a good start."

"I'll try to work on that."

"When I disable the lock on the door you should be prepared for the guards on the other side."

"How many am I looking at?"

"Two. More if they are not disposed of quickly."

"Okay. Then what."

"I'll meet you at the next terminal." CID replied through the tinny speaker. There was a beep and the door beside the terminal whooshed open.

"What the–?" Mumbled the Zin guard standing outside. But that was all he had managed to say. Fueled by a sudden surge of adrenalin, the Boss grabbed his gun from behind and choked out the Zin with it. The guard fell to the ground. The other guard turned, now alerted by the sound of the body of the first hitting the floor. Whipping the muzzle of the laser rifle around, the Boss fired two precise shots hitting the guard square between the eyes.

"Uggh." The Boss leaned forward and hurled. He wiped his mouth on the back of his slime covered arm. "Next terminal, huh?" Fortunately, there wasn't much guessing required as he was in a linear hallway. A few shaky steps later he was at the next terminal. "What now CID?"

"I hope you are prepared to take on more Zin. The next pathways will be swarming with them."

"Isn't there an easier way to do this?"

"No. Now as Kinzie would say 'stop being such a baby'."

CID wasn't kidding when he said that the halls would be swarming with Zin. The moment the door opened, six guards were facing his way. He ducked quickly behind a metal crate as they opened fire. Streams of the molten plasma zipped through the air after him.

"Don't you people have better things to do?" Yelled the Boss over the gunfire. Peeking around the corner several more Zin had made their way into the room. He swore then moved to the next bit of cover, firing rounds as he went.

One Zin went down and then another. "Are you even trying?" He was growing cocky, the Boss' energy renewed by adrenaline. A headshot here and an explosive barrel there, and the Zin numbers had begun to dwindle. He was almost disappointed that more had not heard the explosions and come to join the fray. With the last guard fallen, he smiled over the resulting carnage. "Just like Johnny taught me."

His shaking at completely stopped, and if he weren't covered in dried goo he would even say he was back to normal. The Boss walked among the carnage and inspected his work.

Ditching his now empty rifle, he grabbed a new one off of one of the many very dead Zin. He fired a quick shot at a box to see if it still worked. "This will do."

"CID you still there?" The terminal had been damaged from the firefight, and hissed slightly at his approach.

"Y–" Was all the Boss managed to here before Zinyak's booming voice came on over the intercom.

"Oh where, oh where has my little dog gone? Oh where, oh where could he be?"

"If that's your way of calling me a bitch, you ain't the first." The Boss hollered into the empty space.

Zinyak laughed. "Oh, you didn't really think that you could escape?"

"Who's escaping?" The Boss picked an exit and started walking. "As soon as I find your ugly mug, I'm putting a hole through it."

"And here is that bravado of yours. Don't you ever get tired of being wrong?" The door opened for the Boss, and closed as soon as he passed through it. "Of making mistakes?"

"What mistakes?"

"Oh, just this one for starters."

"What do you–" The Boss froze. He realized that he had chosen his route badly. CID hadn't opened the last door; Zinyak had. The Boss had just walked into a trap. The room was small and the only exit had been the one now locked behind him. An odorless green gas had started seeping in through vents along the red-lit ceiling. He held his breath, but he could only do so for so long. He fired at the door, covering his eyes from the shower of sparks the blast created. But it was no use. The Boss pounded and rammed the gun against it, but it wouldn't budge.

"Good night." Toyed Zinyak. "Sleep tight."

 _Fuck me_.


	5. Chapter 5

CID could have opened the door. He could have, but he didn't. It wasn't personal, but doing so would have risked getting caught, and he was so close, so close to getting his body back. So instead, he let the Boss get caught. He let the human fall and be taken away.

Zinyak would not kill the Boss. _Not yet_. The human had not been broken. Zinyak’s pride wouldn't allow the Boss to die before acknowledging Zinyak's dominance.

The human's saving grace was his stubbornness. It was also the thing that had saved CID from himself. Like Earth, his home world had been ravaged by the Zin Empire, and CID the sole survivor. He had escaped his simulation, but his spirit had been broken. He was a shell of his former self.

Wandering among the data of the Zin's systems he had found the Boss. Had witnessed the human's strength and commitment to those that had remained of his friends and himself. It had awoken the anger and hate that CID thought he had lost along with his planet and name.

Though the human was not aware of it, the mayhem he had caused during the Boss’ brief moment of freedom was enough to disrupt the careful watch of the system to allow CID to regain access to his body. _His real body_. The long robotic arm reached out into the void, retrieving the orange pod that held his white form.

Moments later he seeing through his own eyes once more.

Having reassigned the pod's status to deceased, the pod released its contents with him among it. It was not uncommon for a Broken to suddenly die. The Zin would not come looking. He landed on his two three-jointed legs. He stumbled slightly more from not being used to legs more than any muscle degradation. _His body did not suffer from the same weaknesses the human's had_. CID shook his body, shaking the orange slime that clung to his silver fur free. He rose to his full height at ten foot three inches.

The door proved more of a challenge than CID had initially thought. During the time he was data, hacking was as easy as breathing, now however that was different. He could no longer see the code running the door's lock and his fingers were too large to work the buttons properly. _No matter_. He took several steps back from the door. Touching the floor with his front hands he set himself into a sprinter's starting position. He tensed the muscles in his body. _Three… two… one_. He was off. Keeping his head level with the door, he rammed it. His ebony horns shielded his head from the blow and did a number on the metal in the meantime. It was twisted horribly, but was open enough to pry the door open with his hands. Bits of metal fell from his head and claws as CID made his way through.

The Zin standing on the other side were more than plenty scared. They opened fire on him, but the plasma dribbled harmlessly down CID’s scaled front as if it were merely water. Grabbing two of the three Zin he smashed them together with a thud. From the smell that hit his nose, he suspected the third had shit himself. It wasn't enough to save the Zin however. CID grabbed his head and tore it clear from his body.

If he remembered the ship layout correctly, it would only take a few minutes to make his way to the docking bay to procure a ship; after that, it was a matter of making it out of the solar system and beyond. The Earth was doomed, this was certain, and despite the Saints potential it would not be enough to save it, _unless... No, he would leave them here to their fate_. CID would find another planet and prepare it, nurture it into the thing that would finally stand a chance against the Zin Empire. It would be then that CID would finally get his revenge.

CID made it quickly down to the hangar and any Zin unfortunate enough to cross his path met the same fate as those he dealt with earlier.

"Citizens of Earth." Boomed Zinyak's voice. His face appeared on a nearby panel. CID could only guess that Zinyak was going to have both Earth and his empire witness whatever was to happen next. "It has come to my attention that some of you did not heard my earlier warnings. But I am somewhat merciful, so I leave your fate in the hands of this human…" The screen changed to two Zin carrying in the limp Saints leader between them. He was still naked, Zinyak would not grant him that dignity, but they had cut his hair and shaved his beard down to stubble.

Despite the pang of comradery CID felt, he leapt into an empty carrier ship and fired up its engines. Zinyak's face returned on the ship's tiny head-up monitor. "Wake him." A Zin splashed the human with what appeared to be water, but depending on Zinyak’s mood it could have been nearly anything.

The Boss woke. He was dazed but still defiant when facing his captors. One of the Zin grabbed the human's head and yanked it back so that he was facing Zinyak.

"Now, I'm giving you a choice. Continue to resist and I shall have your planet destroyed, but submit to my supremacy and I shall spare them. It will be your life... for theirs."

That stubborn smile was still set on the human's lips. "I beat you once before Zinyak. Do you think destroying my planet again is going to stop me from ripping off your head a second time?"

"My dear fellow, I don't think you are quite getting it." Zinyak turned on the human and kicked him hard in the chest, there was an audible crunch from the monitor's weak speakers. But the Boss made no sound and barely grimaced. "Anyone who could possibly help you, are still on that planet. There is no one out here for you. No one to save you from your fate." The Boss struggled against those that held him, but he was still too weak and they, far too strong.

CID could not believe it. Since he met the Boss he had not seen an ounce of hesitation in his eyes, but during those brief seconds CID saw it. For the first time the Boss looked defeated. Truly and utterly defeated. The engines had finished warming up, and the ship rose from its rest.

Zinyak leaned in closer. "Now choose."

The ship took off into the inky black.


	6. Chapter 6

What the Boss wouldn't give to punch Zinyak in the face. Just to wipe that smug look off his face. But he couldn't. Not in the state he was in, and not with his arms held tightly behind his back. Zinyak had leaned in. "Choose." He said again, this time more insistent.

The Boss was resigned to his fate, _but could he say the same for the other Saints?_ If Zinyak was right, then he would doom them all. Let them down like he had Carlos. Unable to save them just to maintain his pride. _Again_ , this time for real.

His silence seemed to displease Zinyak, and the Boss received another kick to the stomach. If his ribs hadn't been broken from the earlier kick, they most certainly were now. "Fuck you." He wheezed. That really seemed to have pissed Zinyak off. Zinyak's heel came crashing down and caught the Boss in the neck, pinning him to the floor.

"Say it!" Hissed Zinyak. His heel pressed down harder, partly choking the Boss. "Admit your loss."

The Boss clutched at his neck, trying vainly to move Zinyak's foot. He was beginning to find it very difficult to breath.

Zinyak weight relented. "You wear my patience thin, Saint."

Still lying on the floor, the Boss still held his neck and panted for breath. "Go to hell." _What could he say? He hated the son of a bitch and being used as a welcome mat had just brought out the worst._

Zinyak refused to be goaded. "Very well." The Zin turned to face the many hovering mindless CIDs, and addressed his captive audience on the planet below. "It seems that your potential savior has chosen, and chosen poorly at that." To his forces, he commanded. "Target Stillwater. Let us show what we do to resistance."

There was a hum in the air, and the large floating screen displayed a bird-eye view of Stillwater, and of its horrified residents. The Boss could only watch helplessly as the mass hysteria unfolded. People pushed each other out of the way as laser rounds fired into the Earth. The hum had grown louder now and a red glow covered the screen.

All it took was a single emotionless word from Zinyak. "Fire."

The ship jittered as the blast tore through space and atmosphere. The occupants of Stillwater could only stop and stare at the sky, now shrouded in a fiery hell. Then came the screaming. Louder than any sound the Boss had ever heard. The energy beam ripped through the ground like wet tissue paper, evaporating anything in its path. Homes, shops, and people obliterated. Within moments the Boss' hometown was gone. Only a smoldering pile of molten rock and steaming water remained.

"You're a fucking monster." The Boss had regained his footing, albeit a shaky one.

The Zin guards looked hesitantly at their leader, but Zinyak waved them down. "I'm the monster? I've made it blatantly obvious what would happen. How many more must die for your arrogance?"

Rage consumed the Boss and he charged, roaring out his challenge as he ran barefoot on the steel plating. Zinyak took a step back and swung at the Boss with one of his large arms. It connected against the Boss' side.

The Boss howled in pain as his body was flung. He hit the wall and slid to the ground. Coughing immediately racked his body, and he curled defensively. 

Zinyak wouldn't let the Boss have his reprieve. With a large foot, Zinyak pushed down on the Boss' shoulder forcing his stomach skyward. He grabbed the Boss around the neck and lifted his struggling form from the floor. Without looking back at the screen Zinyak spoke, "Target Steelport." His black eyes never leaving the Boss'.

The image on the screen flicked to Steelport, and the hum rose again in the air. The familiar faces of Pierce, Shaundi, and Oleg filled the screen as they looked to the reddening sky. "They are all that remain of your Saints," whispered Zinyak, his grip tightening around the Boss’ neck. 

The Boss’ eyes darted from the screen to Zinyak. 

"Will you really let them die?" 

The Boss remained silent, the corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly. 

"So be it." Zinyak release his grip, letting the Boss fall with an echoing thud. His head ricocheted off of the floor, making the Boss’ vision spin. In a smug fashion, Zinyak crossed his arms behind his back and faced the monitor. "Fire."

The ship rocked, but this time nothing happened. An explosion erupted from the ship's lower compartments. Zinyak turned on the Boss. Fury evident on his face. "What have you done?"

"How the fuck should I know?" The Boss smiled weakly. Whatever had just happened obviously wasn't part of Zinyak's plan. There was still a chance to turn things around. Whatever the odds where.

"Cut the feed!" Screamed Zinyak. The monitor turned dark and the CIDs floated away.

"What's wrong Zinyak? Your Death Star not quite up to snuff?" The Boss was standing again, but for how long he couldn't tell.

"A minor setback." No longer addressing the Boss, Zinyak ordered. "Take the prisoner to the holding cells, and notify me when repairs are complete."

"Yes, your excellency." Zinjai answered.

More Zin appeared and took the Boss by his arms. At a signal from Zinyak, they dragged him from the room.


	7. Chapter 7

At the last minute CID had reprogrammed the carrier ship's travel coordinates to the lower quadrant of the Zin battle cruiser, and hopefully crippled it in the process. CID didn't know what he was doing, this hadn't been the plan.

He ran back through the metal corridors to try and rescue the Boss.

Zinyak had made navigating the ship undetected easy enough. The Zin that had remained on patrol were glued to the spectacle displayed on the monitors to take much notice of CID. Those that did notice the hulking creature, made a splashy spectacle of their own as their remains scattered the hall's interior.

When Zinyak had ordered the Boss from the throne room, CID knew it was far from over. Once their weapon had been repaired, Zinyak would obliterate city by city until the human finally gave in, or see to it that the Earth was completely obliterated. CID had to admire the Boss' undaunted nature, and the human's resilience to pain. Not many could stand against the Zin, and CID had seen his fair share of those who tried.

Would CID have been able to do the same, even now, had it been his home world that was being threatened? _How much easier it was to just give up. To give in to Zinyak's will_. He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind. He had other things he needed to focus on.

Getting to the Boss was proving difficult. They had taken the human away from the throne room and moved him to the holding cells. Those would be much harder for CID to reach undetected.

He dropped from the ceiling of the lift and crushed two Zin under his clawed feet when he landed. He grabbed the bodies and stuffed them up into the elevator vent where he had been hiding previously. _Where is this lift heading?_ CID leaned over the elevator's monitor. His barbed tail flicked back and forth. _Up? Let's change that_. He tapped the screen. The level of the holding cells was locked to CID without a keycard, but the floor above it was not.

_It would have to do._

He crawled back up to the bodies he had stashed, lest he be discovered if the doors happened to open before his floor. Down, he went, passing floor after floor. Some Zin came and went, but none seemed question the smell of wet fur and blood, nor the blood pooled around their feet.

When the lift jittered to a halt, CID lowered himself from his hiding place and entered the floor. It was poorly lit, the only light coming from emergency lights lining the floor. A large door was locked on one of the far sides, with the display panel having in large bold scrolling letters "Sector 5G Breached" written.

 _Looks like that's where the ship hit_ . CID looked around. His slit-like pupils dilating wide to adjust for the change in light. _Now to get to the holding cells._ He was too large to fit through the ventilation, so he had to find another way. He glanced back at the large flashing door. _You don't think?_

He approached the door. There was a breeze tugging on his fur. The seal wasn't complete, which means he could probably open it. The sudden decompression wouldn't kill him, at least immediately. It would just make it very, very uncomfortable.

CID shut his clear third-eyelids and held his breath. It was even easier than he had anticipated. With a heave the door was open; the whoosh of escaping air almost pulled him along with it.

His claws dug into what remained of the ship's sector. While he had to move quickly, he also wanted very much to not be pulled into space. The ship had torn a sizeable hole in both the ship's hull and interior. CID paused only momentarily to admire the distant glow of the billions of stars twinkling in the black void unhindered. Moving as quickly as he was able, he made it through the gap in the floor the ship had made.

Luck seemed to be in his favor as a section of the ship had been wedged into the door leaving it open a hand's-breadth. It was a tight fit, but with a little encouragement, CID made it through. With the remaining air in his lungs he forced his muscles to bend the metal frame back through the door. Once free of the debris, the door snapped closed. The automatic locking mechanism took over, restoring both gravity and breathable air. He made a mental note to himself that he couldn't bring the human back this way. While the Boss may be strong, there would be no way his human body could survive the time it took CID to travel between the floors. That, and unlike the earlier door, the lock was now properly engaged. To get it open again would require time they might not have.

Dissimilar to the floor above it, this one was well lit. It would be difficult to disappear should the need suddenly arise.

He heard voices ahead of him. "What's taking so long?"

They were still far away, but the sound traveled easily. "Seems, his Excellency isn't done playing with his new toy yet." Came another voice. There was a thud and a stifled cry.

"Hey watch it. Zinyak still wants him alive."

"Yeah, yeah…" There was a scraping sound and a loud clunk.

"How's the repairs coming?"

CID crept closer. He moved carefully as the echoes made it difficult to determine exactly how far away they were.

"In Sector G?"

"Did they figure out what caused it yet?"

"Some idiot crashed into us. Faulty navigation or something."

"One of ours?"

"Yeah. Orders came in to shut down the bays in case it happens again." _Not going to be easy to get out now_. Cid made a mental note.

The Zin had started walking, and CID crouched low against a wall. The footsteps rounded the corner, and as soon as the Zin's bald head came around, CID pounced. He tackled the first to the ground. The second, albeit startled, reacted by raising his rifle quickly. The blast hit CID near his eye.

It stung, and CID howled in retort, but it was the only shot that the second Zin had been able to get off before CID was ripping his throat out. It was fortunate that they were using plasma rifles, as anything else would have caused permanent damage to CID's face. The plasma quickly dissipated now that it was exposed to air.

The human must have heard CID's earlier scuffle, because he was standing and faced the bars that currently held him. "Who the fuck are you?"


	8. Chapter 8

The Boss didn't know what to expect, but a giant dragon-like creature standing beyond the bars coated in fresh Zin blood was not one of them.

"Are… you… alright?" The creature seemed surprised at hearing its own raspy voice.

"What's it to you?" While the Boss didn't feel any hostility coming from the creature, but he wasn't about to trust it yet.

"It would be in my best interest that you are fit enough to move. I would hate to have come this far only to have to leave you behind again."

There was a hint of confusion on his face. "Again? Wh…"

"Does the phrase, 'I miss my arms and am much taller in real life', sound familiar?" A less than reassuring grin slipped onto the alien’s face.

He couldn't believe it. "CID?"

"That is what you have been calling me thus far."

He watched CID move to the locking panel to his prison. "I don't fucking believe it. You weren't kidding when you said you were taller."

"Stand back." The bars rattled then slide away. "We must hurry. It won't be long before someone discovers the missing patrols."

"Got a weapon?" While he might not be completely back to his old self, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to piss of Zinyak even more by taking out a few more of his men.

CID tossed him a gun that he must have snagged off of a previous guard.

"You don't need one?" The Boss asked, CID merely raised an eyebrow in response. "Just asking." He joined CID on the other side of the cell. While it hurt to stand straight, it wouldn't hinder him enough that he couldn't walk,  _or run should I have to_. He checked the rifle. It seemed to have enough ammo. "So what's the plan?"

"We must make our way to the upper levels and secure a ship."

"What about Kinzie? We just can't leave her."

"We will have to. Even if we could make it to her body, without access to the simulation, separating her from the device now could prove fatal. As Shaundi has demonstrated, there appears to be a device on Earth that will allow access into the simulation. Doing so will prove less of a risk than staying and attempting an ill-fated rescue."

"What happens once she's out? I can't risk that."

CID towered over him. There was a look of annoyance on his reptilian face. "You may not be able to see it, but right now I believe it is in your Saints' best interests that we get you off the ship. If your simulated friends were any example, it would be what they wanted to as well." CID raised his head and tilted it. He was listening. "We wasted enough time. We. Must. Go."

The echo of footsteps left no room for arguing. The Boss followed CID. CID led them to an elevator shaft. "What, the elevator is actually going to get us somewhere?" CID didn't say anything, and pushed the button. There was an almost comical ding as the elevator arrived. The Boss entered first. "Which floor?"

"None. We are going up." The Boss was about to question CID when he realized that the elevator's controls had been locked. CID pulled back a ceiling panel and clambered through.

Now the Boss was by no means short, heck he was considered tall by Stillwater's standards, but watching CID climb effortlessly onto the elevator roof and being unable to directly follow really made him feel short. Really short. "CID? A little help."

There was some shuffling, then CID's long white arm extended through the hole. With some mild grunting, the Boss joined CID. Wordlessly CID replaced the panel, and said even less about the semi-squashed Zin bodies that were sharing the space with them.

"Hey. There’re bodies here!" Came a sharp voice from below.

“Ours.” There was some more footsteps, then from an additional voice came, "Dead sir."

"Has anyone seen the prisoner?" Barked another.

“No one has seen him.”

"Sound the alarm. The prisoner has escaped."

"It will be much more difficult from here on out," whispered CID. The Boss silently agreed. CID pointed to a service ladder and they started climbing.

"CID any idea why Zinyak hasn't blown up the planet yet? I mean like, why drag it out? It didn't stop his other self."

"Because he is a conqueror, not a destroyer. He seeks dominance over the entire universe. Atomizing your world would do little to expand his influence."

"Then why bother atomizing anything?"

"Because he wants you to submit to him. You defy Zinyak, and that infuriates him. If he captures you again, he will continue to decimate city after city until your spirit breaks. Eventually your whole planet if it comes to that…"

"And then?"

"Those he has taken previously. He will execute them one after the other, until only your loved ones remain. They will be tortured until death, while you sit helpless watching all of it."

"Hey CID, I don't want to pry, but you seem to know an awful lot about all this."

"I know an ‘awful lot’ about many things."

A blast rocked the ship. The Boss almost lost his grip, but CID had managed to catch him before he fell. "What the hell?" He uttered.

"It seems that we are under attack."

"You think?"

"This will prove to our advantage." CID climbed faster, despite the rocking. He leapt and landed on the lip of the elevator door. With all the explosions, they didn't have to bother with stealth. With a growl, CID tore the door open. In a less graceful manner, the Boss managed to hurl himself across the gap.

"Ooof. Ow." He stood. "Where now?"

"The hangar." Shouted CID over the deafening percussion. He started down the hallway with the Boss running after him.

The few Zin that were between them and the hangar were quickly dispatched. The Boss nailed a few with the laser rifle, while CID clobbered any that he missed.

They arrived at the massive hangar door, but it had been shut tight. "Any chance of getting that open?" He fired a shot at a Zin that had come up behind CID.

"No."

"Any chance you can override the door controls?"

"Can you?" CID charged at Zin, knocking the Zin to the floor. The Boss finished him off.

The door panel screen flickered, catching the Boss' attention. He smiled. "Don't have to." Within moments the door lurched open, the metal screeching as the entranceway opened further. On the screen sat the Decker's skull. "Let's go." The Boss ducked into the hangar, shots whizzing by his head as the Zins' presence grew.

The hangar appeared empty. Its contents either in flame or, likely as the Boss suspected, defending the ship from the continued attacks. The Boss ducked behind some large metal crates. He scanned the room. "Where is it?"

"There!" CID announced. He galloped down to the ship, running on all fours. The Boss fired a few more shots back at the growing crowd and followed suit. Their rescue vessel was definitely human made. The large orange S.T.A.G lettering emblazoned on its sides. CID jumped, landing on the open cargo door.

Shaundi appeared and was momentarily concerned by the large creature standing beside her. The moment passed when she saw the Boss chasing after them. "Boss! We gotta move!"

"Working on it!" His heart was pounding. There was only so long his stamina could keep up.

"Boss!?"

The Boss was almost there. "Fuck it." He mumbled to himself and jumped. The lip of the door caught him in the chest, and he slipped back a few inches. "Fuck!" He screamed. It hurt like hell. Shots continued to fly through the air, as Shaundi and CID scrambled to pull him into the ship.

The cargo bay closed. Within seconds the jets had finished warming up and launched the vehicle back into space.

****

He was laying on his back panting. The cool ribbed steel interior of the cruiser leaving white indents in his skin. The Boss looked at Shaundi and then CID. He burst out laughing. "Oh my God. Talk about a rush." His laughing quickly turned to coughing as the motions aggravated his ribs.

"You look like hell." Shaundi said matter-of-factly, holding out a hand for him to grab.

The Boss chuckled. "Thanks, but seriously, I need like an aspirin or something. I feel like I'm gonna die." He grasped her hand and rose to his feet.

"You're going to need a little more than that." Came a familiar voice.

The Boss was glad to see another friendly face. "Pierce. Glad you could make it." He would have high-fived the man, but they were too far apart.

"Well, I just figured that you'd be lost without me. Here's some pants." Pierce tossed a pair of jeans in the Boss's direction. The jeans sailed through the air, where the Boss caught them single-handedly and quickly slipped them on.

"That's it?" The Boss raised a questioning eyebrow when Pierce didn't pass him anything else.

Pierce returned a questioning smile. "Do you even wear anything else?"

The Boss gestured to his feet. "Shoes?"

"Didn't know your size."

"Fair point." He slipped his hands into his newly acquired pockets. "What's the deal with the S.T.A.G ship? We still have to deal with those assholes?"

From the depths of the ship came the clip-clop of heavy combat boots. "It's thanks to 'those assholes' that this rescue mission didn't end in complete failure." The all too well known white shorn head of Cyrus came into view.

"Cyrus." The Boss was weary of the man, and with good reason. There's nothing quite like having a full military force crashing down on the front steps of your crib. "What's he doing here?" He glanced at Shaundi and jerked a thumb in Cyrus's direction.

"I'll have you know this is my ship you and your… crew are commandeering." As always, Cyrus held himself like he had a pole rammed up his ass.

"So what, you just came along for the ride?" The Boss's smirk was more like a sneer.

"I came because those are my men out there fighting so we had the opportunity to fly in close enough to get you." Cyrus prodded the Boss's chest.

Slightly annoyed with the personal intrusion, the Boss brushed Cyrus's hand away.

"What happened? I thought you hated the Saints. That gives me very little reason to trust you."

"There's a greater threat than just gang violence right now. We get rid of that and then I deal with you, personally." He did an about-face and clomped back into the ship's bowels.

"Really? You guys got help from S.T.A.G?" The Boss could only raise his eyebrows at the rest of his crew. His disbelief quite evident on his face.

"We didn't have many options going for us." Shaundi defended.

The Boss crossed his arms, then regretted putting the pressure on his bruised chest. He let his arms swing idly by his side instead.

"We should get that looked at." Pierce mentioned. "It looks like that hur… oww." Shaundi had jabbed Pierce had in the ribs. "Just trying to say that the whole planet saw your little spat with ugly, and–" Shaundi had stomped on his foot, cutting him off mid-sentence. "Fuck woman, what's your deal?"

The Boss stood between Shaundi and Pierce, trying to break them apart. "Shaundi, what's going on?"

She glared at Pierce. "It's nothing Boss. Let's get you to Medical." Shaundi started walking away.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's no way that this is nothing. Shaundi…" He ran in front of Shaundi, blocking her path. "Shaundi, look at me! What's going on?" Realizing he had clutched her arm, he quickly released it. "Shaundi…?" She looked down at where he had grabbed her, then faced him.

She sighed. "Boss… We weren't the only ones who saw what happened back there. Like the whole world saw what happened. You can't go back…"

"Fuck I don't. They still got Kinzie." He pointed back at the direction of the Zin ship they had just left behind.

"I wasn't talking about the Zin ship…"

He lowered his arm. "Then what? Where?" He was starting to get agitated with all the runaround.

"Not… everyone agrees with what you did… there was a worldwide announcement following the last broadcast. There are some pretty powerful people that think you are traitor to the entire planet. If you return to Earth you're going to be executed... There wasn’t anything we could do to convince them otherwise."

She wasn't kidding. He could tell by her expression, and by the fact that Pierce wouldn't look him in the eyes. The Boss let out a nervous chuckle, subconsciously trying to dispel the tension. "So what… they got like some medieval chopping block set up for me back home?"

"They haven't quite figured that out yet, but that's a fairly good guess."

Shaundi mouthed, "Really Pierce?"

The Boss nodded faintly. "Okaaay… umm, that's good to know."

"So… uh, are we going to get you patched up or what?" Pierce was more than ready to change the topic. There was a slight pause among the group, mostly because neither the Boss or CID knew where to go, and Pierce had forgotten the way. "Shaundi?"

The Boss could tell that Shaundi was fairly fed up with having to deal with Pierce. How much she's had to deal with him thus far is beyond what the Boss could imagine. "This way." She motioned, and started off. Everyone else followed.

The Boss had caught up with the small head-start that Shaundi had. "How much of the crew is onboard?"

"Onboard? Well, there's me and Pierce, and Oleg is busy trying to get the NEMO chair hooked up to the ship's computer."

"I saw that Matt hacked the hangar doors. He here?"

"Yes, but I thought you were asking about our _crew_." She emphasized heavily on the word 'crew'.

The Boss expected as much, but he couldn't help teasing. "You don't like him." If he really had been gone for four years, Matt likely wasn’t seen as a reliable ally, let alone Saint, yet.

"I don't trust him." She snapped back at the Boss. "Do you remember that he tried to leave you brain-dead in cyberspace?"

"Bygones be bygones. He's helping now isn't he?" At this point they couldn't afford to be at each other's throats.

Shaundi huffed. "For now, and speak of the devil." A forced smile appeared on her face, as they neared the black-haired hacker.

He was nose deep in his laptop when the Boss yelled out to him. "Hey Matt!"

Matt spared a glance away from the screen and nearly shit his overly tight pants. "What the bloody hell is that thing?!" The group turned in a panic at Matt's sudden exclamation, which was quickly dispelled with CID being the only thing there.

CID shifted his weight nervously with all the added attention. "Greetings Matthew Miller." He half bowed to reduce his looming presence.

Matt raised a shaky finger. "Wh- Wh- Why- does it know my name?" He stuttered on electric-blue painted lips.

"Relax Matt. CID's with us." The Boss assured him.

Matt had already started shrinking away from the Saints.

CID added, "It is thanks to your abilities that we were able to escape as easily as we did," when Matt did not look to be any more comfortable with him.

As predicted, Matt relaxed slightly when his abilities had been praised. "Yes, well, I doubt that anyone else could have broken through the Zin encryption as fast as I have."

CID nodded knowingly. The group of Saints passed by Matt. "Good seeing you. Say hi to Asha for me." Waved the Boss.

"Uhh, yes…" Matt was thoroughly confused by the pleasantry coming from the Boss, the same man who had nearly killed him in their last encounter. Not to mention,  _who on earth was Asha?_

_****_

The Infirmary was easy enough to find, with white capital letters and a large arrow pointing towards the heavy sliding steel doors. Inside there were more of the same heavy steel walls separating the crew from the black vacuum of space.

Their noses were assaulted by the strong smell of clinical chemicals – bleach, or some other cleaner - medicine, and sickness. There was also the faint smell of blood. It was there, but it was only just barely, like whoever was on cleaning duty missed a spot.

A stern looking man looked up from his work – currently a motion sick crewmember. He was wearing a white coat that indicated that he was the ship's doctor. His face wizened with age and freckles from long days outside, blatantly showed his disgust for the interruption. "I'll be with you in sec. Those not injured or sick can wait outside." He turned back to his patient.

The Boss motioned to his crew. "It's okay." Pierce and Shaundi exchanged worried glances, Shaundi more so, and the Boss could only guess what it was about. "I'm not going to disappear again." Shaundi lingered a little longer, but soon she too vanished beyond the sliding doors.

"So what ails you?" The doctor had come up behind him. There was a disdain in his eyes that reminded the Boss of his fourth grade teacher.

It made him feel like a little kid again, so he slow was to reply. "Uhhh–"

"Trick question. Does this hurt?" There was a sort of sadistic glee to the doctor's sudden prodding, but the doctor's expression never betrayed him.

The Boss however, couldn't keep a straight face at the sudden assault on his bruised flesh.

"Auugh. Fuck! Yes!" His reaction was instinctual, as he clutched at the injury in a subconscious attempt to prevent further attacks.

The Doctor watched the Boss closely. "Well it doesn't look like anything serious, for one you're not coughing blood…" He glanced back at the other patient who started hurling into a bag. "If you can try to keep from stretching or twisting it should heal on its own in about a month. Besides pain medication, I can't really do much else."

"That's it?" From all the pain his injury had brought him, the Boss was at least expecting bandages of some sort, and definitely not just some pain medication as he had previously joked with Shaundi.

"What were you thinking? This isn't some game where you can be healed in a manner of seconds… Here something for the pain." The doctor passed the Boss a small clear childproof bottle of pills that he had previously procured from a stainless steel shelf. "Take one of those, every six hours. You can take another if the pain gets really bad, but I suspect that it shouldn't if you're careful."

Popping a pill and making sure to put the bottle into his pocket, the Boss left the infirmary.

"Well?" He was greeted by Pierce, who seemed more than eager to hear an update, though a quick glance at Shaundi made it clear who was the most concerned.

"I'll live. Doc says I just got to take it easy for the next couple weeks." There was a wave of relief that washed over what remained of his crew.

Pierce joked, "With the Zin on our tails, you may not get the chance." But the attempted humor fell heavy, as there was more truth in his words than he had initially thought.

The Boss could feel a hopelessness fall over the group. "Ehhh, we've dealt with worse." It might not be completely true, but then again having to face off against guy named Mr. Sunshine commanding voodoo magic felt pretty close. It seemed to ease the group, but the feeling was still there.

Pierce, oblivious to it all, stated. "You're right. We can show these aliens what we're made of. Let's go meet up with Oleg. He should have had enough time to finish calibrating by now."

The group left the premises of the infirmary, the sounds of gagging fading away the farther they walked.

****

Oleg wasn't the only one who was waiting on the remaining Saints. To the left of the giant man was Matt, busy as ever, typing on his laptop. To Oleg's right, was Cyrus, his arms crossed and a scowl on his proud face. "What took you so long?" He snapped, his voice commanding attention as it punctuated the air. "Russian over here has told me this what'cha'ma-call-it was finished ten minutes ago."

"We already to go, Oleg?" The Boss asked, ignoring Cyrus's attempt to rile him.

"Yes." It had been a while since the Boss had heard Oleg's voice, and some part of him was glad to hear it again. "It wasn't easy, but we managed to trace Kinzie's bio-signature to her simulation. Once inside you should be able to disrupt it long enough so that Matt and I can release her. We should also be able to open up an escape route according to what CID provided us of the ship’s schematics."

Pierce was almost bursting with some unmentioned news. "You haven't told him the best part."

 _Okay, I'll bite._  "What's the best part?" The Boss looked at his group. While the Boss didn't know it, there was suddenly an energy amongst the Saints that hadn't been there since he disappeared.

Oleg cleared his throat. "Gat's alive and it just so happens that he is hooked up to the same simulation at Kinzie. You do this and you will be getting both of them out at the same time."

If the Boss hadn't just come out of his own simulation where Gat was alive, he would have been blown over by the news. "What are we waiting for?"

"You mostly, since you happen to have the most experience with this type of thing." Matt interjected.

"And what's the old man here for?" The Boss had serious doubts as to why Cyrus would be needed or even wanted to be here.

"If you go brain-dead I get to shoot your vegetable ass. So go ahead and fuck this all up for us. It'll be doing me a favor."  _Figures._  The Boss headed for the NEMO chair, no one making any moves to stop him.

He lay back in the chair. It's cold familiar backing pressing against his skin. It didn't have the comfort of the simulated versions of the same, but it was the one that was real and the Boss was going to have to deal with it. "Can you tell me what I'm supposed to prepare for?"

"Some place called New Hades, and from what I can tell, you're literally going to Hell." Matt said. It seemed that he had grown more accustomed to speaking to the Saints, even if he was still apprehensive about CID.

The Boss was ready. The metal arm of the NEMO chair swung down and a blue glow from various lights hit his eyes. "Sounds good. Let's get Gat outta Hell."

Almost anti-climatically, Pierce mentioned. "Don't forget Kinzie."

"… and Kinzie." Added the Boss.


	9. Chapter 9

When the Boss opened his eyes again he was in hell; or more accurately, twenty feet off of the ground of what he assumed to be hell. While the plummet was short, it was nonetheless painful, lessened by his awkward attempt to roll at the last moment.

The rising heat radiating off of a nearby geyser was hot enough to fry the Boss’ eyebrows, had he remained where he landed only seconds earlier.

“Sorry.” Rang Matt’s voice in his head. “Calibration was off slightly.”

“Just give me a heads up if I’m about to be calibrated into one of these lava pits. I’m not quite in the mood for ending up here for real yet.”

"The day is still young Saint." Cyrus cut in. 

_Fuck off Cyrus._

The air was stiflingly hot and a nearby barren tree burst into flames. “Matt, exactly how safe is it for me to just be standing here? Like, am I going to spontaneously combust or something anytime soon?”

There was a long pregnant pause. “Nooo?” came Matt’s eventual response.

“That somehow doesn’t fill me with any confidence Ma-” A wave of vertigo hit the Boss. His vision swam and his sight overcome by a swath of purple. He was losing sensation in his arms and legs. Beyond the purple haze were two bat-winged individuals, and for some reason, they had broken into song. 

_Just fan-fucking-tastic._

The Boss suffered through the entirety of the charade of a conversation, his limbs now completely ignoring any of his commands. At the mention of Gat’s name his dwindling attention span snapped up, and the mist coincidentally cleared away. He was back to standing on the hazardous precipice he had arrived on, albeit now looking remarkably similar to one of the many shambling corpses that dotted the landscape.

“Boss you okay?” Shaundi must have grabbed the microphone.

“Yah, I’m fine.” He responded, still absentmindedly flexing his now shriveled fingers. “What happened?”

There was some rustling feedback before Matt answered the Boss’ question. “It appears that you already exist in this simulation. The multiple instances must have confused the system and had you alternating between avatars.”

“But it’s fixed now, right? I won’t have to sit through another musical?” He unconsciously shivered at the thought. 

“No. Not as long as we keep your avatar different.”

“Good.” The Boss stretched out his skeletal limbs, he knew they weren’t actually his but it didn’t feel any less weird.  _At least I’m not a toilet again_. He thought, briefly reminiscing on past misadventures in cyberspace. “Any idea where I might find Gat and Kinzie?”

“Uh-”

“Look for death and destruction… well more so than you would expect in hell.” Interrupted Shaundi.

The Boss scratched at a section of peeling flesh on his now very bald head. “Anything more specific?”

Oleg must have wrestled the microphone away from Shaundi, as his was the next voice next the Boss heard. “Not unless you want every Zin in the area coming after you. If we push any deeper into the system, and they’ll be on to us before you get the chance to locate your comrades...” Came his grizzled Russian accent. “We’ll be able to give you a better idea when you get close.”

“Fair enough. How do I get them out?”

“You just need to touch them. We’ve programmed your avatar to transmit the release code on contact...”

There was a sudden explosion and the echo of screams, making the Boss jump slightly.

“Oh and focus on not dying. Dying even once will render you brain-dead.” Added Matt.

“Great. How hard can that be.” A corpse had stopped to stare at the Boss seemingly talking to himself. “What are you looking at.” The Boss snapped. The corpse mumbled something under withered lips before continuing its shuffle up the cracked pavement. “Well, here we go.” As if on cue, somewhere amid the damned city a plume of smoke and fire erupted into the already burning sky, further illuminating his own withered appearance. 

****

Following the wake of destruction had been harder than the Boss first envisioned. Nearly everything seemed to be in a frequent near-state of explosion, dismemberment or other form of atrocity that Gat was notorious for. Pinning down the actual locations of both Gat and Kinzie proved more taxing. The occasional looming threats uttered by Cyrus into his head wasn’t helping - not to mention literally everything was trying to kill him, including the car he had hijacked to get into the city. He left the vehicle in a blazing heap, stepping away from the wreck a little faster than normal as only moments later it erupted in explosion of molten metal.

Nearby corpses looked up at the flying wreckage but none started in the panic the Boss had usually associated with the carnage.

“Reminds me of Steelport…” He said casually, though the many Ultor signboards and buildings dotting the landscape reminded the Boss more strongly of Stilwater.  _Figures that Dane Vogel would be trying to do well for himself, even in a simulated hell_. His growing frustration at finding no trace of either Gat or Kinzie was starting to grate on his nerves and bashing in Vogel’s head could only improve his mood.

In surprisingly little effort, the Boss managed to navigate the devil and corpse infested streets to find himself in front of the Ultor headquarters. “Don’t even think about it,” hissed Shaundi.

“Think about what?” The Boss asked, knowing damn well what the woman was warning him against. He stopped outside the glass-door entranceway and peered in, and saw…  _Kinzie?_  “Hey, Oleg. What happened to telling me when Kinzie and Gat are nearby?”

“You found them?”

“Found Kinzie.”

“My apologies. It seems the buildings are adding more interference than we had anticipated.”

“No problem. So, I just go in there and tap her on the shoulder?”

“That would suffice.”

“Wait… what happens when Kinzie gets ejected.”

“Kinzie is smart. She will come to understanding quickly without needing briefing.”

“No, like is there going to be a temporary replacement for her or something…”

“Or something.”

“That... is very vague Oleg.”

“It surprise.”

“Will I enjoy surprise?” A resounding silence was the Boss’ answer. “Great. No, problem. It will be A-okay Boss, no need to worry.” He sighed as he finally started talking to himself. “Yeahhhh.” The Boss glanced once more inside the expensive but sparsely decorated building. He would have to lure Kinzie away from Dane, there’s no telling to how the simulated tycoon would react to  _whatever_  was going to happen when he made contact with Kinzie.

He pondered what to do for a few minutes, then a wicked grin stole over the Boss’ face.  _This was going to be fun._  He almost skipped away from the Ultor building in excitement as he disappeared once more into the swarming streets.


End file.
